Some of what I felt during my first session of chemotherapy:
After no sleep and reoccurring pain, at 8:30 in the morning we arrived at the cancer center to see what they could do for me and get some explanation as to what happened. Anywhere a deadly disease like cancer is being treated and the treatments occur at frequent, regular intervals, there’s a bonding that occurs between all those present, and a familiarity. Needless to say all who were there were instantly surprised to see me since I wasn’t expected until Thursday. Unfortunately, there were no answers. There was great skepticism that my symptoms had been caused by 5-FU as evidenced by the fact I left with two controlled substances for my symptoms should they continue or intensify, neither of which happened. Pain is not a side effect of chemotherapy. THERE SHOULD BE NO PAIN! Plenty of other things - nausea, fatigue, diarrhea, sensitivity to cold - but not pain. Something is wrong. more…
By early Tuesday afternoon I was leaving the hospital having completed the in-patient stage of my chemotherapy. I was sent home with a portable pump full of 100ml of 5-FU to wear for the next 46 hours. So far, so good. Part of the regimen requires taking a steroid which made me feel invincible; like I could run a marathon. My post-surgical pain melted away and I was feeling better than I had in weeks. There was a downside though. My jaw hurt when I chewed, I was sensitive to cold in my mouth and on my hands, I was coughing and had a runny nose, and my hands were spasming. But, on balance, considering all the drugs that were just injected into me plus the one still going in, I felt pretty good. That would be in stark contrast to what would happen just twelve hours later. more…
In the waiting room for chemo right now. Was able to log on to the network because this laptop was hooked up when I was in for surgery over a month ago (thanks Barbara!). From the looks of it I happen to be the youngest in the room (Christina is older than me too) which suits me just fine. I keep thinking how lucky I am to have cancer now instead of 30 years from now. You can’t rely on the fact that they will come up with a cure by then or even better treatments (though that is likely as long as the US remains a first-world country). So to have this now, when I’m relatively strong and able to bounce back rather quickly from all this crap, is good. Plus I will hopefully never have to worry about getting this or any cancer again because of lifestlye changes and increased monitoring. At least I may have one disease licked. Better than none.
Two days ago, I turned a corner where I finally feel decent improvement in my pain from the portacath surgery. I was getting to my wits end so I’m glad things are improving. Of course, again, just as it starts to get better, I’m getting hit again in two days with my first chemotherapy session. I can only hope that my side effect are as minimal as possible. I’ve been thoroughly inspired by the Paralymians and can certainly drawn on their determination as I face this great challenge. I also have a great support system of family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers whom I couldn’t have gotten this far without, especially Christina. So tomorrow is my last day being chemo-free for six months, let’s hope it’s not the best day for six months.
I had a nice cry today - two in fact. I awoke this morning thinking about my dog Corki who we lost shortly before our move to Poughkeepsie. When we’re yelling at out current 115lb. chocolate lab Hershey (usually for trying to get at people food) we’ll slip into old habits by yelling, “Corki!” (which may confuse him, though he’s probably already confused as to why we’re yelling at him), even though Corki was a 10lb. silky terrier. more…
Smoking is responsible for:
1 out of every 5 deaths in the US (20% or about 500,000)
Almost 1 out of every 3 cancer deaths in the US (30% or about 168,000)
Some words from the Surgeon General on smoking (SG Report, 2004):
How about on second-hand smoke (SG Report, 2006):
Smoking and the tobacco companies are evil incarnate. I’ve found some incredibly fascinating videos on the subject including The Flintstones (yes, the cartoon) doing ads for Winston, Commercial - More Doctors Smoke Camels Than Any Other Cigarette, and Not a Cough in a Carload - Images from the Tobacco Industry’s Campaign to Hide the Hazards of Smoking 1920s - 1950s by Stanford’s School of Medicine. more…
Still, almost six weeks out from my initial surgery and one week after my portacath surgery, I’m still in pain. A lot of actions I used to take for granted I now dread. I’m in pain and in fear of increased pain if I do something to aggravate myself. It is improving every day but slower than I had hoped. Here’s a brief list of things that scare the crap out of me now because they hurt or really hurt:
So what is a portacath and why do I have one? Because chemotherapy involves injecting chemicals into my bloodstream with needles and drawing blood from me with needles and this needs to be repeated multiple times a week for six months, a portacath allows easy, consistent access to my bloodstream without the inconvenience of having to poke around all the time possibly leading to collapsed veins or other complications. more…
Today was supposed to be the day my chemotherapy started. I was nervous since this would be the beginning of six months of therapy which I have no idea how my body will respond to and especially since I still felt terrible from my portacath surgery. I had been complaining about the pain since the surgery last Friday; it was worse than after my resection. This did seem too soon, only four days separated portacath insertion from chemotherapy and I had asked about it but was told it would be fine even though the eight stitches would still be there. more…
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