After having that first spasm in the hospital and not knowing when I would have another one or how bad it would be, I was scared. The scene of that first spasm was pretty severe and it was all a blur. Writhing in pain, nurses swarming around me, waiting for the nitroglycerin tablet to take effect, hoping someone would disconnect the infusion, wondering when it would end, trying to face the pain, people putting on the stickers and leads for an EKG, questions being shouted at me, the whole scene was extremely chaotic. And there were no assurances that this wouldn’t happen again at any given moment. I was on edge.
This was my state of mind when, that night, a nurse came in to take my blood at the allotted hour - four in the morning - and even though I felt fine, my mind assumed she was there because I was having another spasm. I gasped and took all the air out of the room. That was the most scared I have ever been in my life. My blood pressure was being monitored and shot up to 158/90! The new gray hairs around my left temple were born from this event.
Grooming is not one of my biggest concerns right now and never has been and my feeling about my own appearance is to just let it be. It is what it is. If I have gray, so what. There is no need for me to look younger or older than I am at age 39. What’s the point? It’s not worth the effort or the worry. I just accept it. My recommendation, however, is to aquire it naturally.
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