My sleep schedule is still not regular which I am told it needs to be so my chemo is easier. I’m not sure exactly what they mean but I can tell you that I took a 3-hour nap today which was nearly impossible to get up from. I had to will myself awake. This is what chemo may be like sometimes. Using sheer will to move my body.
A few months ago I started doing push-ups in the mornings to help keep fit. They work. And they’re not easy. I started with five and it took me a few months of doing them five days a week to be able to do my best to date of 21 in a row. At first I thought what’s the difference between five and six? Five today, six tomorrow. Sounded reasonable. It’s not that easy.
Every day the wall came at a different point. There was always a target to hit but there was no choice but to listen to my body. Sometimes I could do more. Sometimes I fell short. Sometimes I could will a couple more and sometimes not. Sometimes I did another set of five to ten even if I fell short by only one or two just for good measure. It was a challenge but my day felt better for it - it was worth it. This is surely what the next six months will be like. Struggling to hit the targets my doctor has set for me, willing myself through it, and feeling better.
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Hi Ray…just had to let you know that I say a prayer for you every night. However, your will, strength, and control that you have over your “gorilla” is going to get you through everything. Down the road I would like to see you in the middle of a jungle, on an elephant and yelling “I captured the gorilla”! lol Good luck at Sloan! You’re in the best of hands.Take care, Maryann
Comment by Maryann — 2008.08.25 @ 5:52 am
Hi Ray,
I’ve been following your progress reports faithfully and want you to know that I join with all your friends and colleagues who are cheering you on during the battle you will face in the next few months!! I too faced the 500 lb. gorilla in the room 7 years ago with some fear and trepidation needless to say, but with the same determination you are showing to get over this “crater” in life’s rocky road and get on with things! You have a great medical team on your side whose every effort will be focused on getting you through this– and get through this you will –I have no doubt!
Please know that my thoughts are with you —
My fondest best regards– maureen andola
Comment by maureen andola — 2008.08.25 @ 11:46 am